Word Play
by BabyStretch
Summary: Randomness personified as the Marauders talk about... words. Chapter 2 reformatted!
1. Chapter 1: Word Play

Word Play

**Disclaimer: So my friends (what, friends? What are they?) don't call me J K Rowling. Does that help?**

**AN: Lots of maraudery word-inspection. It just sprouted in my brain and I uprooted it and planted it on a page. How do you like it?

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"Parallelogram has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" asked my friend, James Potter.

Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and I turned to stare at him.

"Plallallallellolwhat?" Peter tried, unsuccessfully, to repeat.

I smiled. "And where exactly did that spring from?"

Sirius, on the other hand, put on his unfair face – a combination of his defected- sorry, _dejected _face and his outraged one. "I thought random comments were supposed to be **my** speciality! Anyway, _I_ prefer bituminisation. Covering something with bitumen, you know?"

James turned to Peter first. "Parallelogram. A four sided shape with two pairs of opposite parallel sides."

"Oh, yes," nodded Peter, enthusiastically. Peter was not, despite popular belief, as stupid as he looked, although that was hard to prove when he was always in James' shadow.

James gave me a brief, practised shrug of his shoulders and glared at the irrepressible, overactive and tactless Sirius Black. "Bituminisation? Are you _joking_?"

I joined the conversation. "I quite like rhyme."

"Yes," agreed James, quidditch expert and almost as tactless as Sirius. "It's kind of - I dunno – symple, I suppose."

"What kind of word is symple?"

"Shut up, Sirius. A mysterious one," came the assertion.

"Oh, _thanks_," Sirius grumbled.

"I think it's archaic," Peter piped up.

"Now **there's **a word- archaic just soars, doesn't it, Sirius?" James asked, winking at his best friend.

"Eh? Wha'?" There was a pause as Sirius ran over the latest developments in the conversation. "…Nah, unfazed is better."

I re-entered the conversation. "Words with unusual spellings always catch my interest," I admitted, turning to Sirius. "How does zany strike you?"

"Cool," breathed Sirius.

Peter grinned, amused at the look on Sirius' face. "You've seen the light, have you?" He faced me and James. "I prefer words that are short and kind of punchy."

"Like…" James hurriedly rifled through his vocabulary. No likely candidates surfaced. "Words with a clear meaning?"

"Yes!" agreed Peter, "Clear is a good example. Or gaze, or dark, or zero. They rouse your interest, in a way."

_If you say so, _I thought, a little confused. Peter's mind was clearly on a completely different wavelength from mine.

"Unobtrusive is a good word, isn't it?"

"You _would_ think that," joked James.

"Gone is nice," decided Peter.

"Obvious," I countered.

"Trust."

"Friendship."

"Peace."

"Nobility."

"Shy."

"That's good," I admitted. "Quiet."

"Concede."

"Zany."

Peter and I glared at Sirius, and he was delighted to glare back.

Finally, James spoke up again. "You have to admit, though, pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis beats them all."

He cringed as the three Snape-like glares suddenly turned his way.


	2. Chapter 2: Furreners

**Furreners**

**AN: Part two of Word Play! This time, the marauders decide to talk in every language they can think of. That's French, German, Italian, Latin, Scramble-talk, Pig-latin and of course English. Don't worry, there are translations. I've re-formatted it to make it easier to read.**

**Feel free to correct my spelling or grammar. I don't speak Italian or Latin, and my French isn't great. I would like to think my German's OK, but I'm not sure. And I do sort-of speak pig latin and scramble-talk.**

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The marauders were visiting Hogsmeade.

When a band of French students pushed past them, James swore loudly. "Those furreners!" he moaned. "They can't even speak our language! D'you think they've ever heard of manners?"

Remus laughed. Sirius, on the other hand, yelled abusive language at the students, now far ahead. "And don't do it again!"

"By the way, Remus," James added absently, "do you speak any other languages?"

Remus nodded. "A little bit of German…"

"You mean," Peter grinned, "like, 'Ich bin ein Berlinner _(I am a doughnut)_' kind of thing?"

Remus nodded again.

"Es ist nicht _(it's not) _polite, eh, to talk in a language no-one else understands," Sirius interjected.

Peter glared at him. "Es ist unanständig dazwischenzureden! _(It's rude to interrupt!)_"

"That means disgusting-rude, not impolite," James butted in, earning a glare of his own from Peter. "And I didn't know you spoke German."

"Mum taught me it," Peter clarified.

Oh, right? Anyway," added James, "je préfère la francais _(I prefer French - French, of course)_."

"Io sento l'odore di noccioles _(I smell nuts - iffy Italian)_." Peter muttered.

"Oh? So that is? _(Is that so? - scramble-talk)_" asked Sirius, feeling rather helpless, since he didn't speak French, German or Italian. He ate another peanut. Scramble-talk might help him fit in…

"Es porcus _(You are a pig - Latin)_," Remus told Sirius.

"Sure right you're I'm _(descramble it yourself)_." Sirius hadn't been taught Latin either.

The marauders wandered through Hogsmeade, each (except Sirius) talking in his own language (or languages, as the case may be). Sirius' footsteps brought them to the Three Broomsticks, and the students went in for a warm butterbeer, or in Sirius' case, a Firewhisky.

Suddenly – it was always 'suddenly' with Sirius – he realised something. He may not have been taught Latin, French, German or Italian, but there was one useless language he _did_ know. "Latin-pig _(yep, still scramble talk)_!"

"What?"

"Wie bitte _(Pardon)_?"

"Je vous demande pardon _(I beg your pardon)_."

"Igpay-atinlay! Iway ancay eakspay igpay-atinlay! Urrayhay! _(Pig-latin! I can speak pig-latin - PL)_"

James shrugged. "Il est un petit peu singulier. Donnez-moi ce banane plastique! _(He's a bit weird. Give me that plastic banana!)_"

"Wass fur Banane aus Plastik? _(What plastic banana?)_"

"Iway on'tday owknay," muttered Sirius. "Ustjay umourhay imhay. _(I don't know. Just humour him.)_"

"Meine Schwester hat einen Schaf geheiratet. _(My sister married a sheep.)_"

"Tu est un pengouin avec les cheveux verts du nez. _(You're a penguin with green nose-hairs.)_"

"Iway eelfay… yyyyyyyyyyyyperhaaaaaaaaaay!!! _(I feel… hyyyyyyyyyyypeeeeeeeer!!!)_"

"Trop de sucre. _(Too much sugar.)_"

"Ja. _(Yes.)_"

Sirius was still yelling about sugar when a complete stranger walked up to James and politely handed him a plastic banana.

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